Day 1- The first steps to me

    The definition of insanity is doing the same thing and expecting a different result.
                                        Albert Einstein

     Hello, my name is Jodi. I am a 28 year old mother of two. A wife of one amazing man. And a child of a truly awesome creator. I am also 363lbs. Now I have to say I want to loose weight, but not for the same reasons I hear when I look in to the media over and over again. Normally we see these people who look in the mirror and desperately hate them self's. I don't. I love who I am. I don't look in the mirror and feel repulsed. When I see my self in passing windows I am always a little surprised because I don't feel the way I look that's for sure. LOL. But even then I don't feel repulsion or hate or disgrace. I immediately straighten my posture up and put a smile on my face and keeping walking.

     But time takes a toll and the weight is not only a strange reminder that inside my own self is a person who the world never sees because she is covered in over 200lbs of layers. But that those layers are causing real damage that is causing harm to my family and impeding on my quality of life. I have arthritis in my right ankle from an injury 12 years ago that hurts mightily at night. The doctors are very quick to push drugs and I am not going to take them. So weight needs to go ASAP. I am way too young to hurt like this. Also with being 28 years old I hope to have many decades ahead of my and that wont happen  at this weight.

    My worse enemy is my perfectionism. I want to do it all perfect the first time. So I end up quitting before any real achievement can be attained. This time around I am going to do a few things differently. First off I am going to not start with food intake and star with exercise. When I was a teen and I was at y smallest this is how I reached it. I moved every opportunity I had. I did watched what I ate but i did not track it and I felt I lost weight the easiest that way. I am going to do this again. Giving my self a hard and fast line on how much I can eat and obsessing about it all day by tracking it only makes me want to eat more. So I am not going to do it.

        Tonight I am going to the gym for the first time in 4 years. My husband will watch the children when he gets home and I am leaving. I will get to do my exercise with out the kids to worry about and will get a break from them. I am actually looking forward to that. I look forward to telling you how it went.
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                                                              xoxo
                                                                  Jodi